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Midlife Crisis

In a Midlife Crisis, you may find yourself asking how you got to this point in your life and what happened to the life you thought you would have.

After years of doing what you think you are supposed to, what you think is the right way; after years of pursuing and, maybe even reaching, the American Dream, one’s soul begins to ask, This is it? This is all there is and what I can expect for the rest of my life?”

You find yourself restless, unfulfilled, looking for more. You notice your youth starting to fade and begin to feel that there is only a downward path from here. There is a sense of loss and urgency to do something before it is too late.

If only you had another chance at life. You would really live it. You would do all the things you always wanted to but never did. You would break free of the 9-5 and the mortgage and responsibilities that seem to drain your life. You feel that you should save yourself while you can.

You Have Great Questions - Let’s find answers

A midlife crisis isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sure, it creates upheaval in a life that appeared to be stable, but upheaval can bring much-needed change. Unless we are challenging ourselves and our choices in life we may never address those things that not only should be changed but can be changed. As we question the status quo, we may find new paths and ways to live a life that we DO love and that shows our purpose. So, go ahead and ask the questions but don’t do anything drastic just yet. Wait until you find the answers before making any changes you may later regret.

Question #1: Is this all there is? 

It depends on what you mean by this? If you mean working at a job you don’t necessarily like, coming home to television and chores, mediocrity and boredom, then no. There is much, much more and you should strive for it.

As Christians, we believe that God has placed within our passion, gifts, and a plan and purpose for them. There is a reason you are here on this earth and it is not to waste your life living numbed-out and walking aimlessly through your life.

So, no, this isn’t all there is. There is a God and a kingdom and a plan and purpose for you. Only living for Him and being all He has asked you to be will fulfill you. You can try to find fulfillment with new clothes and stuff and a new spouse. You can go after all the world has to offer and it will not be enough.

Question #2: Is this my life until I die?! 

Only if you want it to be. Only if you don’t change. It is not your spouse’s or your children’s or your job’s fault that you are unhappy or their job to fix you. Walking away from any of them doesn’t change what is going on inside you and if you leave, you take that with you.

If you were to be very intentional about examining your life up to this point and then getting a very clear picture of what life could be then you would identify the gap.

The gap is the span that divides where you are and where you want to be. Now, don’t let the gap discourage you. Instead, it can be your motivation.

Assuming that you are really serious about discovering your identity and purpose from the Lord, what you envision, could be the future you and your life. There are a great many stories, both famous and not, of people who have changed course in midlife and older and become the true design. These people might have started with the same questions you have but acted on what they saw was possible and they rocked their world in a good way.

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Make a decision

You can choose right now, this moment to discover the adventure God has planned for your life.

You can choose right now, this moment to no longer seek fulfillment from the accumulation of stuff, or the right house or job or partner.

You can choose right now, this moment, no matter your age or what you have done with your life so far to begin to discover your God-given design and take steps to live it.

So, what do you do now?

You have some work to do. Figure out how you got here. What were you trying to accomplish? How did you get sidetracked? Or are you actually living what you dreamed and now find it is not what you hoped?

Next, go to the Lord and seek His help to find His design and purpose for your life. How has He wired you? What passions and dreams has He placed inside you? What skills and talents has He given you that you can use or develop?

See a new future. Map it out. Find the gap and set goals to cross it. Set a game plan to live your life as God and you see best.

You can get a counselor or life coach to help you through this time. Contact the author of this site who works as both a Christian Counselor and a Christian Life Coach to work with her.

You just need to decide that you will take this life and make it into one that is fulfilling to you and glorifying to God. Just do it.

"Your values, deep energy, and passionate destinations are all wrapped up into one profound sense of purpose, pulling you ahead into more of yourself, through the chapters of your life."

“I work with individuals to actually find themselves in Christ and have their lives truly function well in Him. Often I am serving those most hurt by the world – those who have experienced severe trauma and abuse and helping them to find complete healing from the pain and the memories.

I have seen the Lord heal hundreds. Nothing has been too difficult for Him.”